Por JORGE GÓMEZ PINILLA
Lo mismo que en un circo, cuando salen los payasos a hacer las ruidosas morisquetas que divierten a los niños e irritan a los papás, con las más recientes actuaciones del subpresidente Iván Duque uno no sabe si reír o llorar.
Comencemos por advertir la payasada cuando habló de un supuesto milagro del que habría sido testigo: “es impactante que después de haber pasado por la isla de Providencia un huracán de categoría 5, la Virgen estaba en pie. Muchas personas decían que ella es milagrosa, porque evitó muchas muertes en la isla”. (Ver noticia).

Se percibe un libretista detrás de esa declaración (y de muchas otras de funcionarios del gobierno con mensaje religioso), pero esta es llamativa porque va contra toda lógica que la Virgen tuvo poder para evitar “muchas muertes”, pero no lo tuvo para desviar el huracán que sembró miseria a su paso. O sea, si le creemos a Duque, habría que agradecerle a la Virgen por el huracán.
La anterior declaración es de las de llorar, pero entre las que hacen reír está la visita que fue a hacerle hasta el Palacio de la Zarzuela al mismísimo rey de España en julio de 2018, donde muy clarito se le escuchó decir que “le mandó muchas saludes su gran amigo, el presidente Uribe. Que lo quiere mucho”. Oso ajeno, trágame tierra.
Esto es patética confirmación de que el mismo Duque tiene claro que su puesto es el de subalterno, así lo exhibe pública y privadamente. Como en reunión con la bancada de su partido, cuando al final de su intervención dijo «le doy la palabra al presidente Uribe» y este contestó «muchas gracias, señor presidente». Entonces, ¿Colombia tiene dos presidentes en ejercicio? Más bien, que Colombia tiene un subpresidente
Lo terrible en el fondo no es comprobar que por primera vez Colombia tiene un presidente con jefe, sino ser testigos del triste papel de marioneta al que lo tienen dedicado, como cuando lo llevaron a un CAI y lo disfrazaron de policía y lo pusieron ahí para tomarle la foto, 48 horas después del asesinato de 14 jóvenes en diferentes puntos de Bogotá a manos de agentes que habían recibido licencia para matar. (Ver Iván Duque, el hazmellorar).
Pero ahí no paró el cinismo presidencial, pues en días recientes le rindió un homenaje al director de la Policía, general Óscar Atehortúa, pese a gravísimas acusaciones que sobre él recaen por temas de corrupción. Y no contento con lo anterior se inventó una Comisión contra el crimen para poner ahí al exfiscal Néstor Humberto Martínez después de que España no quiso recibirlo como embajador debido a sus actuaciones criminales contra la paz.
Todo lo anterior reitera lo que se ha venido diciendo desde los días de la campaña, respecto a que Duque es un monigote sin personalidad, un títere de los designios de su “presidente eterno”. Pero la definición que mejor le casa es la de mamarracho, según el DRAE una “persona que generalmente hace reír a otros y no merece ser tomada en serio ni tratada con respeto”.
¿Cuál respeto puede inspirar un presidente que durante acto público en la Casa de Nariño declara frente a la imagen egregia del Libertador Simón Bolívar que “nos gusta el periquito, pero el que está en el café”? ¿Hubo también ahí libretista? En todo caso, con su chiste desafortunado no fue consciente del daño que el comercio ilícito del “perico” le ha hecho al país. ¿O acaso quiso restarle importancia a que su campaña fue infiltrada por el exportador de periquito (no el pintadito sino del otro), José Ñeñe Hernández, con quien aparece en numerosas fotos? (Ver declaración).
Un mamarracho es alguien que ante la incapacidad de brindar respuestas claras al país y para que dejara de embarrarla en público, le cancelaron las ruedas de prensa desde marzo, en coincidencia con la pandemia, y a cambio de estas lo pusieron a aparecer de lunes a viernes en TV, diciendo cosas que le escriben en el teleprompter. Según Félix de Bedout, “en ninguna democracia del mundo los canales privados de televisión le regalan una hora diaria de su programación al presidente. En ninguna”. (Ver trino).
Las ruedas de prensa en todos los países del mundo las conceden los mandatarios a los medios como parte de sus obligaciones, pues los periodistas que cubren Presidencia recogen el sentir de la opinión pública y se lo transmiten al gobernante, y este da respuestas oficiales al país.
Así lo siguieron haciendo durante la pandemia presidentes tan disímiles como Andrés Manuel López Obrador en México o Donald Trump en EE.UU., pero en Colombia las eliminaron de un plumazo, y lo sorprendente es que los medios no reviran ni exigen ni preguntan cuándo volverán las ruedas de prensa de la Presidencia de la República, todos tan calladitos, tan misteriosamente calladitos…
Lo que sí se ha sabido es que en remplazo de las ruedas de prensa, a Iván Duque le tienen reservado el papel estelar de mamarracho presidencial, cuando en cumplimiento de un contrato con RTVC estará de regreso desde enero con un programa en el que “dialoga con colombianos destacados en todos los ámbitos”. (Ver contrato). De nuevo con presencia diaria, dentro de un formato al mejor estilo Hassan Nassar, lo convertirán en un remake del ‘Jotamario’ que cautivaba a su público con entrevistas frívolas y con las mejores frases elaboradas por un selecto grupo de libretistas.
¿Cuánto creen que nos demoraremos en volver a ver a Duque haciendo cabecitas con su entrevistado, rasgando boleros en su guitarra o ejecutando los más arriesgados pasos de merengue, salsa o reguetón?
En todo caso, es para lo único que sirve.
DE REMATE: Mi humilde opinión es que hoy la urgencia de Colombia es defender la paz, y que una fórmula Gustavo Petro presidente – Humberto de la Calle vicepresidente sería quizás inviable, pero una fórmula De la Calle presidente – Petro vicepresidente sería imbatible. Obviamente el petrismo en bloque no lo permitiría, lo tomarían como traición a la causa, pero deberían contemplarlo, así fuera desde una perspectiva de altruismo revolucionario. ¿Les quedaría muy difícil a Petro y De la Calle gobernar el país entre ambos, sin importar el orden de los factores?
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